physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
