last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
