we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
