I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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