im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Everclear isn't food dammit
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
