would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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