and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
