3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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