She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
