i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
