we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
