these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
