our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize