You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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