You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
