You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
