New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Randomize
