i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
