I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
