You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?