There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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