she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?