I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..