Someone shit on the floor
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.