Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
