Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"

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(515): View more from Iowa

Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?

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