I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him