I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ugly people sure do ruin things
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"