my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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