Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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