I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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