She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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