I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize