Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
