Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
