Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize