So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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