she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
