First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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