please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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