Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
