I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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