I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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