my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
