who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
