I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
