covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
