Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
