Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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