The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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