Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
