Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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