The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I've blown a few things in my day
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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