Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize