ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
