I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
