At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
