We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
