Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
