Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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