i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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