You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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