oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We talked him into tasing himself.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
