If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
